So, hi. 6-ish weeks since my last post. What could that mean? Am I tired of LJ? No, but the amount of Russians that I get adding me to their friends list is a bit disconcerting, I just haven't had anything to add.

So what's the good word? Busy. Peaceful. Happy.

I really don't know what to say. Work continues to go well. I have kick ass friends and a kick ass manager that make even the most difficult days, easy. I stomp forward towards my goal for the year, which is to get an exceeds on my review next year. I have lost some patience for those that would try and get the way of that, but I have told myself I will just roll right over them and not let them stand in my way.

Friendship goes well now that my Family is seemingly....whole again, minus those that have decided to move across country. All things for the best, especially for them, not to mention it gives me the excuse to go and visit Texas for the first time. Another member had more than a bit of a health scare, but it seems that has gone for the best. That makes Mr. Patrick quite happy.

Can one really ask for anything more than happiness and peace in one's life? Okay, all that and good beer bought for one by one's wife. I don't think so and I have had all that and more recently. For someone as grumpy as I am, I honestly can't think of anything to complain about in life right now.

Who am I? Why am I here? Where did my wife go?

Could it be that I haven't felt like writing anything? Maybe. Could it be that I have been too busy? Good bet. Could it be that I am saddened that my wife's LJ has gone, poof? Yes. Am I a sap? Have you met me?

This is the last week of pure joy at work. Why? It is the last week for 2 good friends before they go to Texas, where we are opening a new center. One of said friends has become very dear to me the last few months and it makes me sad that it took as long as it did to really get to know her. Such is life I suppose. I will miss my friend, but we will be in contact and on those days, at those times, I will be happy.

Hey, guess what? I am at peace with myself! I know, I know. Who am I and what have I done with the real Patrick.

I dunno, maybe it took 34.5 years but I am content, I am happy. I have learned to let the water flow around me, let it slide off of me and move on. Big steps my friends, big steps.

And I even have a goal for the year, beyond passing my damn test and getting my damn degree. What would that be, you ask? My goal is to bust my heiny and get exceeds on my year end review. No screwing around or screwing up. I am going to be the best, I am going to impress and if you get in my way I am going to roll over you.

Go. Team. Patrick.

I've not written anything in a while because, frankly, there hasn't been a whole lot to say. Failed a test. Life goes on.

Work has been...hard. Many changes. People leaving. People I care deeply about. This fills me with a sadness that I don't quite understand. The next month or so is going to be a test of will and patience. Make it until the beginning of the year and we'll be okay.

Got my yearly review last Friday. I of course rock. Lots of good things said, only one thing negative. It was obvious in coming. Fair. I am okay with that. I meet expectations, but only in the eyes of the powers that be. I honestly think I exceed and that isn't something I would ever normally say about myself.

I feel guilty because my wife has apparently bought me something awesome for Christmas and blew the budget in doing so. Why guilty? Because I am poor. She is going to have a few really great gifts, but no big huge jaw dropper. Though I really do think she's going to love the first thing I got her.

So we will see what the next three weeks bring. Hopefully I come out of my funk, but I just don't know. Have faith though. Have faith.

For as much as I have grown up, for as much as I have matured, for as smart as i truly am... I am no different now than I was 15 years ago.

My class?  I failed.  DIdn't look at anything but the grade.

Test is, of course, done. How did I do? C'ish I think.

Find out sometime this week.

Pens?  Check.  Soda for drive?  Check.   Ipod?  Check.  Mala?  Check.  Crazed mind?  Check.

Why do I suddenly feel like one of the light brigade?

In just under 10 hours I will take my test on Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia.  Am I nervous?  Yes.  Scared?  Yes.  Have I prepared like I should have?  No, but that is the story of my life.  One's natural intellect can only take one so far, at some point studying must be done; in this case, there simply hasn't been enough of that.

So think of me tomorrow, say around 9am eastern.  If I am lucky I pass and then I can finally hang my degree on my wall.

Why must my JPMC stock tease me so? Up all day and then in the last hour
of trading, SPLAT.
Two days in a row. Yesterday it was up over $2 before falling and today,
about a $1.25 and now down almost $2. What in the last hour is scaring
the pants off of investors?

Three years ago today I married my angel. Its been three years most glorious.

I love you dearest Bink and that love grows daily.

Here I fail at math.

I thought I was done with my car payment. I had the original payment book that ran out August 08. It said in there, specifically, if I needed more payment coupons they would send them to me. I never got any.

Today Bink gets a call "Yeah, your husband is 11 days late on his payment...oh and he still has 23 months left."

??????

After furious digging for the policy....well, what do ya know...

Time to retighten the belt.

Fucking money. Fucking cars.

Been an odd week campers.  Hell, been an odd couple of weeks.  The brain melts, the brain suffers.  We persevere.  We get better.  We get help.

Time moves on and things change.  People come in, people move out, the heart finds hope as it takes on more sadness. 

Friends are friends, even when they are harder than hell to read and harder than hell to get through to.  Accept and move on.  Understand and cope.   Make peace with yourself.  Make peace with them, though they may not know its needed.

A part of me wishes it were October 24th already just so I could be done with all this Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia stuff.  Another part of me realizes that I haven't studied like I should have and am completely and totally not ready.  Thankfully I have a bit of time left to catch up. 

I have a plan of attack for the next few weeks, so that is good.  I am starting to understand a bit more and more, the retention is there.  While I would love to knock out an A, I have to remember that all I need to do is pass.  Pass baby pass.

All I can hope for is my brain keeping it together until then.  The brain chemistry seems to be being a bit of a bitch right now.  Paranoia, woo woo.  Not the best feeling to have.  But I am coping and doing well.

Trying to get my smile back from the dandelion so I can put it back on my face.     

Could kids be more coddled in this day and age? Or could they be bigger pussies?

In MY day, we didn't get school canceled because of heat. In my day schools didn't have AIR CONDITIONING. In my day there were no worries about keeping people "properly hydrated."

And I like to think I turned out okay.

Right?

Right?

What are you trying to say?

So the Democratic Convention has come and gone and now its the Republican's turn.  Could Gustav be fortuitous for them?  Or will it be a reminder of Katrina?  Somewhere in the middle I imagine.

Now the "big" story so far is the pregnancy of Palin's daughter.  And has been stated my much more eloquent people than myself, sure says a lot about those family values and abstinence only programs the right likes to trumpet.

Of course now it is going to be turned to their advantage.  Blah blah blah, grandmother.  Blah blah blah, see this is what pro-life is all about.  Sure sure.  We'll see what happens when the baby is born.  After all the right is good about loving you until you actually drop the kid.  After that they want nothing to do with you.

But the two things that bother me about this whole thing, and pardon me if my bias is showing... oh to hell with it, when does my bias ever not show?  Reports I have read said the Palin's are very excited to welcome the baby and discuss its future with the loving husband to be of their daughter.  Can you say arranged marriage?  What if he doesn't want to get married?  What if it was a one night stand?  Isn't the right normally screaming and up in arms about this?  About teen mothers?  Or is it just unwed teen mothers?

And the part that makes me laugh until my stomach hurts.  How the right thinks this should only be a matter for the family and it shouldn't be a part of the political process.  Of course it shouldn't be.  But if Obama had a daughter that age and she were pregnant and not married, can you imagine the sound and fury of the right wing echo chamber?  Or even "better," what if she had an abortion?  Where would the right to privacy be then?  Would we not see Drug Addled Gas Bag and Hannity and O'Reilly screaming their lungs out?  Michelle Malkin's head would likely explode.

I said it during Whitewater and I will say it again; I couldn't possibly give a shit less who you are sleeping with or if you are getting a hummer in the Oval Office.  Its none of my damn business.  Public officials should be allowed to have private lives.  And the last time I checked, getting a hummer, or being pregnant or letting Hillary strap one on and take it to Al Gore doesn't affect your ability to make, enact or enforce policy.

EDIT: I have NO CLUE where the hell that user pic comes from. My Stalin photo has disappeared from my user pics list, with that thing in its place.

Honeymoon couldn't last forever. For the first time since I have been here, I really don't like my job.

Stone Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout + Stone 2008 Vertical Epic=Happy Me.


Even if it is tough to type.

Not that I think you would EVER do something like this, but of course you are the first person I thought of.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/08/22/20080822grammarcops0822.html

66 days...66 days....

Oh for fuck's sake.

WoW worked for one week and now I can't get passed the loading screen before this error #134 rears its ugly head. With EVERY character.

Blizzard is full of shit in that they think its a hardware issue. It can't possibly be the same hardware failures for all the people that are dealing with this.

They need to figure out what the fuck is wrong and hotfix this. This shit never happened until the last patch.